exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
