mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
