Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize