I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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