why didn't you poke me back
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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