Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
