You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
