don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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