You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
