How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
