i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
