Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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