HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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