just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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