he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
