Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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