Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
