go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i used baking grease as lip gloss
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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