in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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