I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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