You really coming over, don't trick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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