I'm eating all of the evidence.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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