idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
