I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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