I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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