Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
