is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
