found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
