EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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