It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
