You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
pop tarts are not kleenex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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