Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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