can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
