first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize