Already got asked if we're dating
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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