i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
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My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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