He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
