the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize