I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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