I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
