What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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