My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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