It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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