Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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