yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
