I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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