Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
