I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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