i barfeds in our rink
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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