I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
