My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
