you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
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I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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