sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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