Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
