thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
