Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize