so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
