that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
