Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
