well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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