I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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