so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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