i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
