I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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