tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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